Choosy Lover | First Chapter

Here’s the first chapter of my upcoming release Choosy Lover.

It releases February 28th and is available for preorder. Click here for your copy & enjoy the first full chapter!

Something wasn’t right. Call it a gut feeling, paranoia, or simply her woman’s intuition, but something just wasn’t right. Poppy could feel it in the pit of her stomach. Be it from the tight lips and furrowed brows engrained on the face of her mother, Bernadette, or the eerily similar expression her younger sister, Isla, wore, Poppy knew something was going on. The whispers amongst her closest girlfriends, Vienna and Hazel, didn’t help either. With piqued interest, Poppy did her best to decipher the mumbled conversation, as she tapped her white and square acrylic nails on the arm of the director style chair.

No matter how much focus she gave trying to hear them, she still couldn’t make out a single word. Frustrated, Poppy blew out a breath before speaking. “I know y’all aren’t talking about me like I’m not sitting here.”

Her irritation caused what she intended to be a light joke seem more callous, when she was only trying to ease her way into their discussion. The somber glance shared between them let her know she’d only further isolated herself, and it had Poppy tucking her bottom lip between her teeth. No one ever acted like this around her, and for it to be happening today of all days had her stomach tightening with each passing second.

“You just look so beautiful, sweetheart. That’s all,” Bernadette said, resting a hand on Poppy’s shoulder.

She gave it a firm squeeze as she offered a warm smile, hoping to settle her daughter’s nerves.

“Yeah,” Isla added. “We can’t wait to see how it all comes together, Poppy.”

Isla smiled, admiring the way Poppy’s makeup managed to have done the impossible and further enhance her beauty. Earthy and warm, bronzy hues decorated the lids of her doe-like, brown eyes, making them twinkle from the glow of the ring light she was seated in front of. Poppy’s thick and perfectly arched eyebrows wrinkled together as she stared at her. The compliment spoken might not have been a lie, but she knew it wasn’t the topic of discussion she was unjustly being excluded from. Her makeup artist, Whisper, was trying to apply a deep, wine-colored lipstick, and while she knew that her talking was making the task harder than need be, it wasn’t enough to silence her.

“You’re a horrible liar. Wonder where you got it from.” Poppy cut her eyes toward Bernadette, waiting on the truth to be told. Or for anything to be said, but nobody uttered a word. The uneasiness she felt continued to grow as she realized her fears had been confirmed.

Something was wrong.

Without hesitation, Poppy tugged at the sterling silver, headband tiara. Whisper gasped, taking a step back as Poppy tossed it onto the ground.

“What are you doing?” Hazel asked.

“I’m leaving if somebody doesn’t tell me what’s going on!”

Nobody immediately answered, causing Poppy to shake her head as she stood. “I can’t do this.” She quickly rushed into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it behind her. That was all it took for the once quiet group of women to finally speak. It was only to call out to her, asking what was wrong. As if they didn’t know­­–– as if they weren’t partially to blame. Poppy might not have known what they were discussing, but their sneakiness let her know it wasn’t anything good, and that was the last thing she needed. Especially on a day that should’ve been a joyous one; her wedding day. She heard the horror stories of everything that could go wrong and prepared for it as best as she could.

It’s the reason that despite her heart being set on an outdoor, beach wedding, she settled for it being local and on the covered rooftop of the Knight Sky Hotel.

It’s the reason that despite her heart being set on a formal setup for dinner where the guests could have their meal and drink of choice, she opted for a buffet-style set up to be sure everyone in attendance could have something they’d enjoy as well as unlimited plates.

It’s the reason that despite her heart being set on a multi-layered, spice cake with brown sugar and caramel frosting, she opted for a single layer, vanilla cake so everyone could have a slice.

Poppy’s wedding day had quickly gone from what she and her fiancée wanted, to a day full of compromise and sacrifice, all to ensure the comfort and enjoyment of her guests. Most of the unexpected changes weren’t even her doing and had come from her soon to be mother-in-law, Viola. The thought of all the chaos the cantankerous woman caused during the planning process hadn’t made accepting the adjustments any easier to deal with.

For the three years Poppy had been with her fiancée, Jason, two of those years had been spent dealing with his mother’s off the wall antics. If Viola weren’t calling her all hours of the day, reminding her of how lucky she was to be with a man like her son, then she was blatantly letting it be known that as long as she was alive, Poppy would never be the number one woman in Jason’s life. She paid the old, miserable woman no mind because though she was a bitter nuisance, Jason never allowed Poppy to feel like anything less than the most important woman in his life.

Despite his mother’s behavior, he wasn’t a mama’s boy. Poppy never had to fight for Jason’s love or a place in his life. If she needed or wanted anything, he provided it for her. He gave her love, reassurance and treated her with nothing but respect. Because of it, she never held Viola’s behavior against him.

As it got closer to their wedding, however, it got increasingly difficult to hold that frame of mind. Viola’s wants and demands quickly overshadowed their own and just like that, the man who was once quick to check his meddling mother, now cowered and gave in. The woman had gone out of her way to convince the couple that their wedding wasn’t about celebrating their joy for a monumental event but more about their guests. Mainly, the hundreds of family members she invited.

Their wedding was turning into an orchestrated circus so that Viola could show how well off her only child was, when majority of the event was being paid for by Poppy’s family. Her father, wanting to keep things traditional, offered to cover everything, but even he reached his breaking point with the over-the-top demands and was swift in putting his foot down. Even with all of the hassles and disappointments, Poppy bit her tongue, keeping in mind that once it was all over, she’d be able to begin spending the rest of her life with Jason.

That was until the big day arrived, and those around her began to act funny. The hushed tones and worried expressions were enough to drive her crazy on a regular day, but today? It was driving her insane.

“Poppy? Let me in, please. We just didn’t want to worry you, but I’ll tell you what’s going on.”

She nervously gnawed at her bottom lip before opening the door for Isla. Her sister was the only person she was willing to see. Be it their well-established, lifelong bond or that she’d easily be able to tell if she were being fed more lies, Poppy stepped back, closing the door once Isla was inside.

“There’re some things that haven’t made it just yet but are on the way. Nothing major like the wedding cake or anything but we knew if we mentioned it or you overheard, you’d freak out.”

Poppy stared at her, searching for a hint of dishonesty. There was only sincerity in Isla’s eyes, and she nodded once she was sure she could trust her sister’s words. Isla pulled her close, wrapping her arms tightly around Poppy. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just… I can’t handle anything going wrong.”

There was so much more she wanted to say. Poppy wanted to confess how nervous she was, and how all morning, the feet she’d managed to keep warm the duration of her engagement were now ice cold. She wanted to confess that despite how panicked she was about something going wrong, there was a part of her secretly hoping for it. Anything that would help justify the hesitancy she was dealing with.

“I know Viola hasn’t made this easy for you, but you’re getting married! You’ll be a beautiful bride to a man who loves you more than anything.”

She thanked Isla for the words of encouragement, following behind her as they exited the bathroom. The warm smiles from her friends and the tight embrace from her mother were enough to calm Poppy as she took her seat in front of Whisper.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, girl,” Whisper said. “Trust me. I’ve seen crazier.”

The room filled with laughter as Whisper continued doing Poppy’s makeup and telling stories from her time spent as a makeup artist and entrepreneur. She had her own cosmetics line, and the products were being used for the ladies. Her time was costly, but none of the women had any complaints. Not when her services had been nothing short of amazing.

Just as Poppy’s makeup was finalized, Whisper snagged a few photos. She might’ve been finished but was staying around a bit longer to offer touch-ups throughout the day. It was part of her services— another reason no one complained about how pricey she was. With her makeup done, the moment Poppy dreamed of had finally arrived.

Hazel had retrieved the black garment bag from the closet in the hotel room. In place of a hanging rack, Hazel made use of her arms and held the bag up, making it easier for Poppy to open. Her wedding dress was inside, and it was one of the few things she had control over. She reached for the zipper with a shaky hand, slowly lowering it. As if she hadn’t hand-picked the garment herself, she gasped once it was in view. The strapless, mermaid style design was accentuated by lace trimming and pearls, making it look like something straight from a bridal magazine.

With her being the last member of the bridal party needing to get dressed, Poppy lowered her white silk robe that had Bride embellished in rhinestones across the back. It was finally  settling in that she was moments away from getting married. As Bernadette and Isla helped her into the elegant gown, Hazel and Vienna snapped a few candid photos. Whisper had excused herself to locate the photographer, who was busying himself with photos of the decorations and  the guests as they began pouring onto the rooftop.

“You look so beautiful,” Bernadette complimented.

To prevent her tears from forming and ruining her makeup, Poppy took a deep breath as she smiled. “Wonder who I got it from,” she responded with a wink.

Her mother possessed the richest chocolate skin, high cheekbones, and thick, beautiful coils she was fortunate enough to have inherited. Aside from her large and kind eyes, which she’d gotten from her father, she and her mother were twins.

A true vision in white, Poppy could only admire her reflection in the mirror. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at what she saw. There wasn’t a hair out of place, a loose string, or a single flaw. Maybe, just maybe, things would go off without a single hitch after all. Just like Isla reminded her, she was a beautiful bride— one who was moments away from marrying a man who loved her. So why did she still feel there was something looming in the shadows, ready to destroy everything?

A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts. Bernadette went to open it, smiling as she realized it was her husband, Oscar. “Are you girls decent in here?” He jokingly asked before entering.

“Yes, Daddy. Wait until you see how beautiful she is.” Isla said, stepping towards the side so Oscar could have a full view of Poppy.

“Wow,” he said, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Beautiful indeed, Ladybug.”

Blushing, she said, “Thank you, Daddy.”

Reaching for her hand, he gave it a gentle squeeze, holding back tears. The joy he felt finding out he was going to become a father had been unmatched. He remembered having the honor of cutting the umbilical cord during her birth; he remembered the first time she cooed and smiled at him as if he were a superhero. Oscar remembered the way she affectionately called him “dada” and helped her with her first steps. He remembered thinking there wouldn’t be a joy quiet like that until Bernadette was pregnant with Isla, and he learned he’d get to do it all again. Oscar believed there would be no greater joy than raising his girls, but as he looked at his oldest and prepared to witness her walk down the aisle, he knew he had been mistaken.

“If y’all are finished in here, is it okay if I borrow your mother?”

“Of course,” Poppy said.

“We won’t be long. Just sit tight.” Oscar kissed Poppy’s cheek before he and Bernadette disappeared with Isla trailing behind them.

The photographer, Walter, had entered the room, shortly after her family left, leaving just Hazel and Vienna behind. Poppy considered taking a seat while she waited for him to get everything set up but decided against it. The dress might’ve been a perfect fit, but she couldn’t imagine trying to fight with it by making any unnecessary movements. She looked at her friends, who were both preoccupied with their phones. The silence in the air was discomforting, but because she wasn’t up for small talk, Poppy opted to remain silent.

 “Are you ready for some photos?” The photographer asked. He’d set up his camera on the tripod and pulled the curtains open, allowing some of the natural light to enter the space.

Before Poppy could answer, Hazel did so for her. “Perfect timing! We need to step away for a few minutes. We’ll be back by the time you two finish up.”

There wasn’t time for her to ask questions or object as she was left alone. Poppy struggled to smile, loosen up, and do everything else the photographer asked until he eventually allowed her a minute to calm down. She hadn’t realized she was visibly nervous until she looked at the way the bouquet of red roses shook in her trembling hands. She quickly tossed the assortment down, pacing up and down the room. Her thumb went into her mouth as she nervously bit her fingernail.

“Fuck,” she muttered.

Well over ten minutes had come and gone, and Poppy found herself still alone. Feeling as if she were beginning to sweat, she used a hand to fan herself. When that didn’t help, she reached back, trying to unzip the dress with no luck. She needed help, but there was no one around and it was driving her crazy. Heading towards the door, she reached for the knob when she heard voices on the other side. There was no need for her to press her ear against it nor try opening it. She was able to make out the conversation clearly, and what she heard caused her heart to shatter inside of her chest.

“We have to tell her,” Hazel said, sighing heavily.

“No.” Vienna said, shaking her head, “I mean not now. It’ll just upset her.”

“She has a right to know,” Isla added. “What if it was the other way around? You’d want to know. Hell, you’d be mad if she didn’t say anything.”

No one could seem to agree on how to handle things. Would it be better to hurt Poppy with the truth or hurt her with a lie? “What do you think, Miss. Bernie?”

If anyone knew how to handle the situation they were in, it would be her. No one had Poppy’s best interest at heart like her mother.

“I don’t know what I think.” Bernadette sighed. “And the boys are sure they haven’t heard from him? Missed a call? Text? Something?”

“No. Nobody has seen or heard from him since he left the bachelor party. Maybe something happened to him,” Hazel said.

“Viola wouldn’t be here if that were the case.”

“It’s a wonder she’s here at all,” Isla muttered.

Poppy could hear them shuffling around from the other side. Just as she wondered if they had walked off, they started talking again.

 “We’ll wait a few more minutes, and if we don’t hear anything, then we’ll tell her. See if she wants to wait, push the ceremony back down, or… I don’t know.”

No longer caring to hold her tears back, they slowly rolled down her face as Poppy listened to the horrifying news. Her throat tightened as she found herself struggling to breathe. She stood in place, waiting for someone to join her in the room, but no one came. She was alone, still, and had no one to comfort her after hearing the worst thing imaginable. She was in desperate need of a hug and opened the door for someone to embrace her, only to see there was no one there.

So worried about keeping the truth from her, the ones she needed most had left her completely alone and the realization had the tears falling harder. She’d been abandoned by not only her family and friends but the man she thought she was going to marry. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks, and she doubled over with a hand on her stomach, physically feeling the pain. Her head was spinning, leaving her woozy and lightheaded as she tried wrapping her mind around it. The abandonment, the investment— both mental and financial— and the stress of planning a wedding, only for Jason to not show up, let alone give her any sort of heads up.

She’d seen him yesterday before they parted ways to spend their final night before the big, I Do, with their friends. He seemed perfectly fine and even assured her of how excited he was. She felt the same until she woke up. She couldn’t figure out what was wrong or had managed to change overnight, but now she knew. She was feeling his absence. Not the stress from his mother’s antics or doubts about their relationship, or anything else. Even though she wasn’t sure of what, Poppy knew something would go wrong, and because of it, she hadn’t known a moment of peace all day. 

A lingering sense of bemusement consumed her as she retrieved her purse from the closet, digging around for her car keys. With them in hand, she exited the room she was held captive in and continued on until she was exiting from the back of the hotel. It’s where she’d parked to avoid being seen when she arrived and was again providing her secrecy as she made her grand escape.

Once at her Volkswagen Atlas, she tossed her heels in the trunk as she traded them out for her white crocs. She’d had them customized with charms and  chains, so they’d be formal enough for the reception, and as she stared at the obnoxious bling, she considered continuing on barefoot. A thought she quickly shook from her head as she remembered the change of clothes, she brought were inside of the hotel room. Only for a split second did she consider trying her luck and sneaking back inside for them. She couldn’t chance anyone seeing her or having to face them. Nor could she make an announcement in front of hundreds of people about how she turned into every bride’s worst nightmare. It was embarrassing enough to be a story of desertion and  betrayal but having to say so out loud would’ve killed her.

There was only one thought on her mind, and it was simple. Leave. After getting in her car and getting as comfortable as possible, she was backing out of the parking space. Driving out of the parking lot in such a hurry, Poppy didn’t pay any mind to the oncoming traffic, resulting in car horns to blow loudly from the way she’d cut them off.

Only a few minutes from the venue, she made it to a red light. Her opened palm repeatedly hit the steering wheel as she cried out, “Why me?”

A glimpse of her reflection in the mirror had her taking a deep breath as she tried stifling her tears. With a quivering bottom lip, she retrieved her makeup bag from the glove compartment, applying powder to cover the streaks left from her tears. She didn’t have a makeup wipe to clean the products off her face and knew she looked crazy talking to herself in a wedding dress.

Certain she was somewhat presentable, she stared blankly ahead as she waited for the light to turn green. From the corner of her eye, she saw it. The sleek, black Lexus Coupe with  black and gold fraternity letters on the license plate told her it was Jason. Through her rearview mirror, she watched the car turn into the very parking lot she’d just left. Although, late, Jason did show up. But did it even mean anything?

Poppy blew out a breath, wondering if she’d overreacted. Maybe something did happen that kept him away. He might’ve overslept and had no intentions of being late. She tried defending him, making sense of things, but she was now more confused than ever. As the light turned green and the cars before her began driving, she was left with a split second to either make a U-turn and confront her problems or proceed with her original plan.

With a heavy foot, she went with the latter, driving past the light, continuing on in traffic. And just like that, the weight on her shoulders ceased to exist. She didn’t know what it meant. Or where she was going for that matter. All she knew was she wanted to be alone. Poppy couldn’t go home. It would be the first place people looked for her. She certainly couldn’t go to Jason’s house and wait on him.

It’s how she found herself on the Interstate, driving for hours. And hours. Well until she was out of the Dallas County limits and stumbled into a place she’d hardly ever visited. BrookeHaven. A metroplex full of other cities and communities. She drove around, unsure of where she was going, Poppy considered turning around, heading back toward familiar territory when she noticed the glowing gas light symbol on her dashboard.

The day couldn’t have gotten any worse, even if she prayed for it. The drive was a blur and she fussed at herself for not being more aware of her surroundings. All she knew was she’d driven into Hidden Lakes and that was because of the welcome sign a few miles back. There wasn’t a gas station, service area or anything in sight, nor did she recall passing any as she entered the small town.

Despite it being the middle of the day, the area was quiet and missing the noticeable hustle and bustle of the city. Family style homes with large porches and front yards made up the suburban style neighborhood. People went on about their day, some doing light yard work, some enjoying the crisp, fall air with friends and others were getting into their cars, ready to embark on an adventure of sorts.

Poppy ventured on, arriving in the downtown area. Various shopping centers and businesses lined the freshly renovated roads. Several of the older buildings were being renovated to help improve the overall structure of the dated properties and better blend in with the newer designs. Even with the construction, it was still quiet. There were people like her, traveling by car, but for the most part, everyone in the area traveled by foot to their destination. She felt out of place from her surroundings, but it was the least of her worries.

She retrieved her phone, sighing at the hundreds of missed calls and text messages. It had all drained her battery and she knew she didn’t have enough power to try finding any directions. That’s when she saw it. The unexpected haven she wasn’t even looking for. EverMore Bar. Was it the most practical decision? Probably not, but she felt the universe owed her at least a drink with the day she'd had.